Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: What Keeps Survivors Stuck

Every month, I release a series of podcast episodes to help survivors of emotional and narcissistic abuse understand why healing can feel so hard — and what it really takes to break free for good.

Because if you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing the work” but not getting anywhere, or if you’ve felt guilty for letting go, you’re not alone.

I know that pain firsthand.

Years ago, my abuser hid my wedding ring. 💍
I had taken it off to wash my hands and placed it on the window sill above the kitchen sink. When I came back, it was gone. I searched every inch of the house — crying, panicking, blaming myself for being careless.

He told me I didn't care about something so valuable. That I must not even value our marriage. 
He told me I lost it...and made me think I was crazy when I most certainly knew I had set it on the sill. Eventually I began to believe him, "maybe I was careless...maybe I was CRAZY?!"

He watched me suffer for a week before finally admitting that he’d hidden it. 
He said he wanted to “teach me a lesson.”

That’s what emotional abuse looks like.
It’s manipulation disguised as care. It’s gaslighting wrapped in control. And it trains your nervous system to believe you can’t trust yourself — the very thing that keeps you stuck in indecision, guilt, and self-doubt long after the relationship ends. And this is not healthy and we can't continue to stay in these old worn out patterns that abuse leaves behind. 

This November, I’m unpacking the hidden patterns that keep survivors trapped in the cycle of self-blame and overthinking — and showing you how to reclaim your power at the subconscious level.

Episode 188: The Lone Wolf Trap — Why Healing in Isolation Isn’t Working

🎧 Listen here → Be A Better You Podcast 

So many survivors retreat into isolation after narcissistic abuse. You tell yourself it’s safer this way — no one can hurt you if you don’t let anyone in. But isolation keeps you looping in your thoughts, cut off from healthy connection and nervous-system regulation.
In this episode, I share how trauma makes us withdraw and why real recovery happens in community, not solitude.

Episode 189: When Healing Feels Like Betrayal & Letting Go of the Guilt

🎧 Listen here → Be A Better You Podcast 

Leaving a toxic relationship often brings waves of guilt. You might even feel like moving on betrays the person who hurt you — or the version of yourself that stayed.
This episode dives into the psychology of guilt, trauma bonding, and how abusers condition you to equate love with suffering. You’ll learn how to release the guilt and honor your healing without shame.

Episode 190: The Truth About “Doing the Work” (and Why You’re Still Stuck)

🎧 Listen here → Be A Better You Podcast 

You can read all the books, go to therapy, and still feel like nothing changes. Why? Because true healing isn’t about checking boxes — it’s about reprogramming your subconscious mind.
In this episode, I explain why traditional “mindset work” doesn’t reach the root of trauma and how your nervous system and belief patterns drive self-sabotage, indecision, and people-pleasing.

Episode 191: Doing Positive Affirmations Wrong Is Wasting Your Time

🎧 Listen here → Be A Better You Podcast 

If you’ve ever repeated “I am enough” a hundred times and still felt empty — this one’s for you. Positive affirmations can actually be MASSIVE TIME WASTERS for survivors of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse because they create cognitive dissonance — your subconscious doesn’t believe them yet.
In this episode, I reveal how to speak the language of your subconscious mind so that your affirmations actually work.

The Truth About Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Emotional abuse rewires the brain.
It changes the way you think, feel, and respond. Studies show survivors of long-term narcissistic relationships experience symptoms of complex PTSD — hypervigilance, rumination, chronic self-doubt, and fear of abandonment.

But healing is absolutely possible.
It starts with understanding that your reactions aren’t flaws — they’re trauma adaptations. And when you learn how to regulate your nervous system and reprogram your subconscious, you stop living from survival mode and start living from self-trust.

If you’re ready to go deeper, listen to all four episodes this November and share them with someone who needs hope. You deserve peace — not punishment.

Listen now on the Be A Better You Podcast 
and follow me on Instagram @allisonkdagney for daily subconscious healing tools.