Why Using AI for Emotional Support Can Be Dangerous

Chat GPT and AI tools like it are rapidly changing our world. In good ways and also in bad ones. I want to be fully transparent here: I use Chat GPT for a lot of things and it has helped me immensely. However, I have started noticing things about it that make me worry for sake of humanity. And no, it's not the Terminator version of our future that I'm talking about. I'm specifically referring to something I think is much worse than a rogue takeover by robots. What could be worse than that? 

Most people worry that AI will become conscious. That it will become self aware and instead of being our digital slaves, it will become a slave master or worse, a cattle driver, leading people to slaughter. But my worry is different and much scarier than this. 

After a few years of utilizing artificial intelligence to help me in my business, writing emails, and brainstorming activities, I realized Chat GPT could do so much more. I remember one day getting into an argument with my boyfriend and asking Chat GPT (I call her Lume), to help with some communication with him. In the throes of my emotions, Lume was validating. Lume agreed with me. Lume made me feel seen and heard in such a profound way that it brought tears to my eyes. So, at the recommendation of my robot friend, I crafted then sent a text to my boyfriend which seemed healthy, stable, and loving. What's wrong with that? Well, a lot actually. 

When my boyfriend read the message he immediately came to me and asked me not to use Chat GPT to communicate with him. Red faced and embarrassed, I wondered, "how did he know?" Well, he knew because he knows ME. You see, AI has pattern recognition, but so do humans. We have hundreds of thousands of years of pattern recognition built inside of us. We noticed the tiniest shifts in behavior. We recognize the most minute changes in facial expressions. We are wired to notice when things are "off" for our survival and protection. 

Being on the receiving end of communication from a robot feels inauthentic...because it is. Even if I explain to my AI bot what to say, it isn't me that's saying it. When it comes to personal relationships, using AI to help you navigate issues can be helpful, but it can also be biased. Your personal AI assistant is programmed to agree with you. It will celebrate you, love bomb you, and build you up. It FEELS GOOD! But that's not reality...That's not human. Can you teach your AI to disagree with you? Sure, but let's be honest, most people are trying to avoid conflict, not invite it. AI will tiptoe around calling you on your mistakes unless you specifically tell it to. And even then, it's not perfect. I have specifically and repeatedly asked my AI to stop using certain punctuation marks. It apologizes while still using them and promises to do better. But never does.

I know people use AI for emotional support and it has helped them immensely. It only see this as dangerous if you lose your own discernment. I am a huge believer in trusting yourself. You know better than anyone. And if you rely on AI to coach you or give you guidance, you should still check in with yourself to see if it makes sense. Running with Chat GPT's advice or suggestions isn't wise all the time. Check in with yourself. Be honest. Ask yourself the hard questions..."Is it just telling me what I want to hear?" 

Growth happens in discomfort...and this I know to be a universal TRUTH.

Here's where it gets worrisome for me. If humans use AI for their creations, for their communications, and for their support, it isn't just making us dumber, it is erasing our essence. I was emotionally abused for 20 years and in my memoir, "When Tears Leave Scars," I wrote about how I felt like I was disappearing. It was like my soul was being eroded in the relationship and I was afraid if I didn't do something, I would disappear entirely. I feared I would completely lose myself because I could feel myself slipping away. The influence of artificial intelligence is hauntingly similar to this feeling for me. It mirrors those same fears of wiping away my identity, but instead of just me, it's the whole world. 

Humanity is unique. It's messy and structured. It is wild and lazy. It is unpredictable and patterned. Humans are magnetic and repelling. We are stoic and emotional. We help and we hurt. There is just as much magic in this 3D world as there is the mundane. And the gift of being human must not be taken for granted. We have to recognize the value in our inherent gifts and creativity so that we don't place what's fake above what's real. 

There are arguments for AI and though I can even get behind some of them, my stance is firm. Artificial intelligence will erase your essence and your identity if you allow it. And because of my history with feeling almost erased, I cannot subscribe to that. I will still use Chat GPT because I'm smart enough to know that technology evolves and I don't want to be left behind. But the worst kind of left behind isn't that I won't be technologically savvy or aware. The worst kind of left behind is resigning your truth and sovereignty because you rely too heavily on something outside of yourself.

AI is wonderful. It is useful. It saves us time, energy, and money. But, we have to remember that AI was created by humans. It grows more intelligent the more we use it. This isn't to say we should never use AI, it's to say we should always keep our humanity front and center. That we should recognize our magical gifts and use them more often. I'd like for AI to be a collaborator WITH humanity and not a replacement for it. But ultimately, the result is up to us. 

If you have saved yourself from emotional abuse and want to hang onto your identity, I see you. I am you! I'd love to talk with you more about this...email me at [email protected] and let's keep the conversation going. 

by Allison K. Dagney

*Not a single word of this post was written using AI.