The Real Secret to Trust

Trust. It’s one of the deepest wounds betrayal leaves behind, and it’s also the thing we long for most.

When you’ve been hurt—whether through lies, manipulation, or broken promises—it’s natural to put up walls. Your mind says, Never again. Your nervous system sounds the alarm whenever closeness starts to form. And suddenly, you’re guarded, waiting for people to prove they are worthy.

But here’s the hard truth: you will never find closeness that way.

Real trust doesn’t start with them. It starts not just with YOU...but within YOU.

If you believe you won’t recover from betrayal, then trust will always feel unsafe. But if you anchor into your own strength and your ability to get up, to heal, to handle it no matter what—then trust becomes easier to extend to others.

Here’s what I’ve learned and what I teach my clients:

• Trust is a gift, not a prize. Give it freely until someone shows they can’t hold it. Otherwise, you’ll always keep love at arm’s length.

• Your nervous system needs reassurance. Fear of trusting comes from not believing you’ll survive the pain. Remind yourself: I’ve survived before. I will survive again.

• The foundation of all trust is self-trust. When you know you’ll be okay no matter what, you can risk vulnerability—and that’s where real intimacy lives.

The betrayal you lived through may have broken your heart, but it did not break YOU. You are still here. You are still capable of love, connection, and trust.

If this speaks to you, I go much deeper in Throwback Podcast Episode #10: Trusting After Betrayal. You can listen here:

https://link.chtbl.com/FzupDqOZ

You don’t have to live locked behind walls. Trust yourself first, and the rest will follow.

With love,
Allison